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TiberiusOfflineNon-member
Post subject: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 01:10 PM



First post: Oct 17, 2004
Total posts: 9415
Location: 10 mins from Cas
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I’m transferred to a small room with a TV and its own bathroom and toilet. I guess they’ve heard from my insurance then and decided to screw them.

A standard issue pretty French nurse shows me how to use the bed, unfortunately my French is not up to asking her if she would like me to show her other ways in which it could be put to use, but she must know it’s what I’m thinking. Actually I’ve always wondered, you women do know that every time we meet you the main question in our head is ‘does she swallow’ don’t you?

For anyone used to accident and emergency in England, we were now about eight hours from when I fell. I had been shepherded down the mountain, tortured in the medical centre, sent to the bank to get money, taken to the ambulance station to pay, driven to hospital, had my arm twisted and turned to get new x rays, made to strip and get into bed; finally, approx. 8 hours after I fell, my wrist is bandaged and I am offered a painkiller Laughing

I’m told they’re going to operate tomorrow at 12 and I’m not allowed anything to eat or drink after midnight. Now I’m not going to be operated on at 12, that’s probably the official start of the afternoon theatre session, or more likely the end of the morning one. He’ll get back from lunch and maybe if I’m his first case I’m guessing on 2pm. If I’m being done in the afternoon, there’s no way I’ll get out the same day, so it’s going to be Wednesday now, still no point arguing, so I shrug my shoulders and announce ‘say la vee’ (you may have noticed, I’m not even attempting French spelling, they’re much better at it than I am).

Food is brought in, my last meal I guess. Kind of them to consider that I haven’t eaten since breakfast, in the NHS you’d just starve. I’ve no idea what half of it is, but the nurse is kind enough to lean over, open all the dishes, and cut up the meat for me. She doesn’t offer to feed me however. One dish appears to be puréed cabbage, trust me, it tastes as bad as it sounds.

The last sight I see is the cute butt of the nurse swaying as she leaves, the light goes out and the door shuts. I am truly alone; the nearest people I know and could talk to are an hour and a half away, and they don’t know where I am. I have one bar left on my phone and need to decide how to use it.

First, a text to Pocket, telling him where I am. He is the only person whose number I have, but he probably has his phone turned off. Then I remember that I swapped number’s with Sydney the night before, so I text him as well.

Unless you’ve been in a similar situation, you cannot begin to appreciate the sense of relief I felt as a reply came in. For the first time since early that afternoon I was no longer alone.

I’m going to explain this again, slowly. I’m a loner, I operate on my own better than anyone I have ever known, yet my relief was palpable when that text came in. Dudes when you go away anywhere, swap phone numbers with a few people.

Secondly I text my surgeon friend / business partner. He confirms my guess that orthopaedic surgeon’s in alpine area’s are usually very experienced, so he can’t think of a better place to break your wrist. Lie back and let them get on with it.

Finally I phone the wife. Explain that I’ve hurt my wrist but no-one here speaks English so I don’t know exactly what I’ve done. There’s no cast on it, just a bandage, so it’s can’t be too bad, probably just a sprain. I’ll let her know tomorrow exactly what’s going on, but I may not find out until later in the evening. Hopefully she’ll get some sleep now and I don’t think I’ve stretched the truth too far.

Ok, time for me to get some sleep now, just need to find somewhere to put this damn arm first Laughing

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thedoctorOfflineNon-member
Post subject: RE: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 01:12 PM



First post: Apr 16, 2005
Total posts: 9973
Location: London - where else
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Quote:
surgeon friend / business partner.


Ah, so you're real name is William Burke and your partners name is William Hare I presume?

Laughing

(google it foos)

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cheap_bananasOfflineNon-member
Post subject: RE: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 01:15 PM



First post: Oct 26, 2005
Total posts: 2375
Location: Sheffield
Status: Offline
An epic tale Laughing

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charlieOfflineSCUK Member
Post subject: RE: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 01:17 PM



First post: Oct 11, 2004
Total posts: 8992
Location: York
Status: Offline
I've still got your bindings tibs! I'll give them back on Friday for a small fee. Very Happy

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TahlullahOfflineNon-member
Post subject: RE: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 03:50 PM



First post: Aug 26, 2005
Total posts: 12

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Quote:

you women do know that every time we meet you the main question in our head is ‘does she swallow’ don’t you?



That really made me laugh!!

You do know that what we say and what we do are not necessarily the same thing...
 
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TiberiusOfflineNon-member
Post subject: RE: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 03:53 PM



First post: Oct 17, 2004
Total posts: 9415
Location: 10 mins from Cas
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The proof of the pudding is in the eating.

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thedoctorOfflineNon-member
Post subject: RE: Tibs, Ch 5 - Prison  PostPosted: Jan 29, 2006 - 03:57 PM



First post: Apr 16, 2005
Total posts: 9973
Location: London - where else
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"spotted dick"

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